July 25, 2009

"I'm broken inside, And all I go through, it leads me to you..." I'm Not Alright - Part Two

The second part of "I'm Not Alright"! *cheers* Hahh, okay, you guys might not be cheering, but yeah. :D
I would've posted sooner, but I've been suffering from laryngitis and fevers. :P JOY.
Anywho, my last post was about the issue of giving in, giving up, and being "cool". This one's a little different.

If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then "cool" is just how far we have to fall
I am not immuned, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need to impress?
If You want the truth I need to confess


I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to You

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only You are there to lead me on.

'Cause honestly, I'm not that strong.

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
Broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to You
Leads me to You
Closer to You
Closer to You
Closer to You

I'm not alright I'm broken inside
Broken inside
I'm broken inside, Broken inside
And all I go through leads me to You
Leads me to You

I'm not alright, I'm not alright
I'm not alright ... that's why I need You.

Vs.(part of)2 and chorus:

(...If you want the truth I need to confess

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you)


Have you ever had a problem with at least two family members or friends, and the more you talked to one of them aabout it, you actually become better friends/closer with that person? It's happened to me before. I'm trying to work out a problem, and I end up becoming better friends with a person involved.
--I think that can relate to "I'm broken inside, And all I go through, it leads me to You."
*FOR EXAMPLE* There's being "...broken inside...", and that can count as "one person", there's also "...You...", and we know that's the second person, then there's "...I...", and that's you, as the third person.
In the song, You, refers to God, and I'm referring it to God too. --As the second person.
~Everytime there's an issue that involves being broken, me, and God, I always end up "discussing" it with God, and I feel closer to Him.
Look at the first verse for a moment. The last line mentions a firewall.
"But I feel safe behind the firewall."


+++Christians feel safe behind our/the Firewall. And there is absolutely no turning back.+++

When you become closer with Him, He becomes your Firewall, your Shelter, etc. Who wants to run out in the middle of a thunderstorm instead of being safe? Some crazy person.
>Well, even when it becomes stupid stuff, or just being broken inside... God will help in so many ways.<
___________

This post wasn't very long, but I didn't intend it to be. I hope you guys liked it though. :)

God bless,
~Bookie

July 11, 2009

"Can I lose my need to impress? ...I'm not alright..." I'm Not Alright - Part One

Part One: The Issue of Giving In, Giving Up, and Being "Cool".

I wonder if you guys have heard the song "I'm Not Alright" by Sanctus Real. I know there's at least a couple of you that have listened to Sanctus Real. They're a reallllly good Christian band-- but that's not the point.

Read the title, por favor.


The actual song goes like this:

If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then "cool" is just how far we have to fall
I am not immuned, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth I need to confess


I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on.

'Cause honestly, I'm not that strong.

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
Broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you
Leads me to you
Closer to you
Closer to you
Closer to you

I'm not alright I'm broken inside
Broken inside
I'm broken inside, Broken inside
And all I go through leads me to you
Leads me to you

I'm not alright, I'm not alright
I'm not alright ... that's why I need you.



The first verse really kinda... well made me think. I mean, that sounds normal compared to usual, because we all think deeply a lot. But I'm referring to the fact that most kids/teens(/even adults) we're all wounded with a weakness. And it DOES have to do with being "cool".
--I did a bunch of blog posts on creating ourselves (1, 2, && 3). They weren't written very well, but they got my point out.--
There's a lot of things haveing to do with peer pressure. And you may not think you're dealing with it a lot, and you might not, but usually in the back of your mind there's always the little "What will ____ think of me then?" or "Maybe I SHOULD do this...".
The issue is whether it's the right thing to do or not.

Yeah, I deal with that a lot. Of course, I can't think of any THING that would give someone pressure, but I know people do.

~Sometimes those people don't even realize what they're doing to you.
~Andthen, unfortunately, sometimes they do.

But it doesn't really matter if they do or not, does it? It only matters about what your decision is...
I'm not going to give some huge lecture about what you should and shouldn't do, no worries. I know you guys already have the sense of "wrong and right". It's your choice; but I am going to tell you my feelings for it.

Vs.1: It's sad to see a lot of people having their weakness like that, and "cool" IS where they fall. They DO feel safe not being criticized, and the only reason why they feel safe like that is because feeling loved is what we want most.
I know for a fact that if I don't feel loved I feel awful. It makes me want to cry that I'm not good enough for some people--that I'm NOT behind the firewall. But then, when you think about it... Well, I'm still loved by the One who's MOST important:
God

...In the end, everything will be fine. We all need encouragement sometime rather. We all face tests, whether its pressure or something else. Please, it's a lot of things.
But I finally figured out WHY there are so many tests in life.
I thought it was just how far we'd be able to get... And it is, in a sense. But it's also preperation. If I can't even last very long in one trial, I won't be able to last in the future with whatever had to do with that.
That made me realllly determined.

God won't ever give you something you can't handle-- but people give up sometimes. They think they can't make it or aren't strong enough handling something, when that's not the truth. But the only way you CAN get past whatever pressure it is or trial (or whatever you'd like to call it), you must seek God.
"Cool", I've figured out, is just a way of saying that people think you're...well, neat or fascinating. At least that's what I've noticed so far.
**But I've also noticed that not giving in to a lot of things, or not giving up, has made me still "cool"--especially to God.

And it's a pretty great feeling.


End of part one.
God bless,
~Bookie

P.S. Sorry it was ended abruptly! Gotta run. :)

July 8, 2009

"...Mountains bow down and the seas will roar, at the sound of Your name. I sing for joy..."

I'm sure at least some of you guys recognize that song. I would have used ten billion others, but I already have in other posts, and this one seemed to work.

...Well, what's the main point of that title? Specifically those lines that are part of the lyrics to "Shout to the Lord".

~"Mountains bow down and the seas will roar, at the sound of Your name." --WHOA. Hey, I don't know what you think, but that's kinda intense. Even creation praises God! That's awesome.

Yesterday I went ice-skating with my youth group... And there's always been a reason why I like staying home more than going out to places. I always thought it was because, at least where I live, people can be really rude. I also don't like being in huge public places where there are TONS of people. But why? That makes almost no sense. It sounds like I'm crazy. I'm acting like a hermit... for no apparent reason.
I got off the ice pretty soon (compared to everyone else who stayed on) after, and I found my cousin and asked for money to get something to drink. She hands me some cash and I stand in line by myself. --But there was this weird looking dude in front of me. I mean, his mohawk only added to the odd look. He was just strange.
--I was trying to be polite and look around, even though I knew exactly what I was going to say to the lady when she was done with him, but he started mumbling and stuff! There was obviously something wrong with him... And though I wouldn't wanna be in a back alley with him, it was... really sad to see. His wife didn't look much better than he did. And I didn't know if those were his kids or not. All I could automatically tell was
this guy needed Jesus.

So did his "wife".
So did his "children".
It was awful. And ofcourse... as a girl and as a "teen who knows nothing", I couldn't say anything about God or Jesus, or how much his life could be so much better.

Same goes for the next guy I saw. And the other people that were there... My heart was suddenly burdened. How come mountains show more glory and praise to God than we do?!
I'm looking at these people, and though I'm not fully sure they're saved or not... I can hear cursing, and I see people doing wrong stuff, and it's just... absolutely not right.

"Shout to the Lord, all the earth let us sing. Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand. Nothing compares to the promise I have-- in You."

I'm so burdened with the knowledge of this suddenly--that I would rather stay home and be "safe" than out there. Though we should ALL go out there. We're here to spread the Word, not keep it locked up.

I hope you guys liked this post. It wasn't the happiest, but it had really knocked me around last night...

God bless,
~Bookie

July 5, 2009

A hot Independence Day...

I hope everyone had an awesome fourth of July!! It's usually always fun for us. Parade, chill, then fireworks. =) I LOVE the fireworks, and I actually got a ton of pictures and a video of the grand finale! I think I shall post it sometime later... for I'm not feeling very great.
Which brings me to the title of this post. Yeah, where I live it gets really hot, but this time it was hotter than usual. Yesterday my sister and I started up on a cold, and then we got a fever. I hardly had any sleep last night (only like, three hours), and then I thought I was all better this morning.
So I went to church. :P My sister stayed home because she still had a major fever, but I didn't have it that bad. Well when I got to church I was REALLY sore (I think from the fever), I felt EXTREMELY weak, and I looked pale. I stayed like that (in pain) for the whole time and finally got home. My twin was still feeling bad, and I was just ridiculously tired.
--Resting like a bum, I wake up and my fever is 102.-something-. JOY.
I'd really like some prayer for my family. This isn't fun at all. I DO think I'm getting better, but I sitll have to go through this process of fighting it. *sighs*

So yesss. :)

God bless,
~Bookie